


I’ll Be Your Best Damn Friend in the End

by schwartz1e



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Foster Dad Merle, Foster Kids Everyone Else, Found Family AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 09:13:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13120665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schwartz1e/pseuds/schwartz1e
Summary: Merle had made a lot of mistakes in his life. This is a story about how he makes up for those mistakes and helps six children become a family.———-Happy Candlenights to @crystallinekingdom on tumblr!! I was your TAZ Secret Santa person!! I hope you enjoy this!! It was supposed to be not that long and then it ran very very far away from me, but I’m quite proud of it.It is multi chaptered, but unfortunately work swamped me this past week and I wasn’t able to finish it!! But I will this week so please bear with me and keep checking back!! Again, I hope you (and others) enjoy!!!Title from Best Damn Friend by the Barenaked Ladies.Find me on tumblr @fully-realized-creation. I had a lot planned for this fic that didn’t make it into any of the chapters, so come talk to me about it!





	1. Chapter 1: Magnus

Merle had made a lot of mistakes in his life, and was now at a place where he could recognize that. His marriage had been a forced farce, he had been a terrible father, and deep down he knew he couldn’t truly blame Hecuba for banning him from seeing his kids all of those years ago. But it wasn’t until he had gotten so far into his glass that he couldn’t see straight, and then gotten into a bar fight so bad that he couldn’t see in 3D that he realized that something had to change.

So he sobered up, got an eye patch and a therapist, and resolved to do better.

———————

Being a foster dad was decidedly not in Merle’s plan to do better. He thought that he had fucked up enough kids in his lifetime, but his therapist was adamant.

“You need to make connections, Merle, real connections,” Avi said.

“I’ve made connections!” Merle protested. Avi just barely resisted rolling his eyes.

“Your houseplants don’t count,” he said. “Merle, with everything that we’ve talked about, with everything that you’ve told me, I think you have great paternal instincts. You have a need to take care of others, your home garden is proof enough of that, but maybe it’s time you care for something that will actually care for you back.”

Merle shifted uncomfortably and huffed. Years of this shit and he still got embarrassed about opening up.

“And what if they don’t care about me back?” He asked stiffly. “Couldn’t make my own damn flesh and blood love me, why d’you think some random kids are gonna give a shit?” Avi put his pen down and leaned forward.

“You’re in a much better place now, Merle. You know that. This will be good for you.” Avi took some loose papers out from the back of his notebook. “Just go to the information session, maybe do some research. If it still sounds terrible to you, then I’ll never mention it again. Deal?”

Merle thought for a moment before grabbing the papers and standing up. He ambled toward the door, mumbling under his breath, and barely got out a “See ya next week, doc,” before the door slammed shut behind him.

———————

Merle wasn’t gonna go to the information session. It was the same night as the weekly poker night at his church, and he had to win back the $50 Garfield had cheated from him last time. But as luck would have it, the church chose that exact night to start on some minor renovations in the basement, where the poker game was held, and wouldn’t you know it, every other spare room in the church was reserved for the whole night—including the one where the informational session was being held.

Merle had only recently begun going back to church, as per a recommendation from Avi, of course, but he knew Pan’s influence when he saw it. He sent up a quick curse, which caused his favorite rose bush to suddenly wither slightly, and got ready to go to the damned session.

He really couldn’t deny that it was interesting. There was a lot of work that went into becoming a foster parent, and they had actual foster parents there sharing videos and stories of all the kids they had helped. It was heartwarming, and Merle’s heart hadn’t felt warm in a number of years.  
At the end they passed around copies of the initial paperwork to fill out to sign up for the required classes, and invited everyone to come up and look at some of the kids that were looking for foster homes.

“Shit,” Merle thought as he made his way to the front of the room. He actually liked the sound of becoming a foster dad, liked thinking about helping all those kids and putting them on a better path than the one he had been on just a few years prior. He was still hesitant, and, as he got closer to the laptop that had the pictures and profiles of the children, he knew that if he saw just one poor kid with big ol’ sad eyes, he’d be screwed.

A couple moved away from the laptop just as Merle got there. They had left the screen open on a profile for a young boy. Merle squinted at the screen, read the first few lines of the boy’s bio, and (to the shock of quite a few people around him) said, “Well, fuck me, I’m in.”

———————

After months of paperwork, classes, tests and background checks (which had almost really screwed him over), Merle was sitting in an office across from the boy whose profile he had seen so long ago.

The boy was stout, but all his heft was muscle; he played quite a few sports. He had wild hair that framed his face like a curly halo, a gap between his two front teeth, and his name was Magnus. His parents had been murdered by a serial killer known only as the Mad Governor and he had been in the system ever since.

Magnus had greeted Merle with a firm handshake and a huge grin, matching the one Merle had seen in his profile picture. And, like his profile picture, he had some of the saddest eyes Merle had ever seen. Magnus was putting on a very brave face, but Merle knew that he had been in this room many, many times before.

They had a pleasant chat, with Magnus asking as many questions as he answered, until an attendant poked her head in and said they only had a couple more minutes. Merle sighed.  
“Alright, kid, then I guess this is the moment of truth,” he said. He leaned forward and his one eye stared deeply into Magnus’ two. “What do you think?”

Magnus blinked, apparently taken aback by the question.

“What do…what do I think?” He asked almost incredulously.

“Well, yeah!” said Merle. “What, you think I was gonna just make the decision for you, sweep you up and carry you home? Nah, kid, you’re fosterin’ me as much as I’m fosterin’ you!”

“Oh,” said Magnus. He paused for a moment and then said, “It’s just…no one’s ever asked what I think before.” He looked down at his knees. “They always just say, ‘Well it was very nice to meet you Magnus, hope to see you real soon, have a good day,’ and then leave. And I dunno where they go but it’s not to come back and get me.”

Merle was pretty sure he felt his heart break. Magnus sat still for a moment longer, his brow furrowed. Then he sat up.

“Thank you very much for asking, Mr. Merle,” he said, and Merle’s broken heart sunk a little. He knew the sound of a let down when he heard it, and he was steeling himself for the denial when Magnus continued: “And I think that you’re great, and would very much like to be your foster kid.”

And he stuck out his hand with a gap-toothed grin.

———————

That hand shake was the beginning and the end of it all. Merle didn’t stop with just the one kid, because he just couldn’t. Every kid that came through the system, Merle met and interviewed with. Sometimes it worked out, and sometimes it didn’t, but Merle came to realize that Avi was right. He cared for these kids a lot, and they really did care for him back.

In the first year after Magnus joined his little family, he was the only one who stayed for longer than a few months. Merle didn’t mind this; Magnus was a sweet kid, albeit a bit of a handful, and had a tendency to rough house and get into fights both at home and at school. He loved the kid, but he wasn’t sure if he could handle another one long term if they couldn’t handle Magnus, or were anything like him.

And then Merle met Lucretia.


	2. Chapter 2: Lucretia

Magnus loved family meetings. He had been living with Merle long enough that he knew family meetings meant pizza and eating in front of the television and a new sibling. In the year since he had begun living with Merle, he had had ten new siblings. They had all left for some reason or another, which made Magnus sad, but he had a good feeling about this family meeting.

Merle got pepperoni pizza. He never got pepperoni pizza.

After they had eaten and cleaned up, and the credits of the movie they had watched were scrolling, Merle sat up straighter and turned toward Magnus, who was curled up under his favorite blanket on the other side of the couch. He was clutching his old beat up stuffed duck, his last connection to his family, and practically vibrating with excitement. Merle took a deep breath.

“Her name is Lucretia,” he said. “She’s been bouncing around for a while, and she needs somewhere stable. She was livin’ with some folks for a good long while but then…well, she’s been alone for about a year now. I think you’ll like her, and I know you have questions,” Merle held up a hand as Magnus opened his mouth, “but here’s the thing kid: she ain’t…like you. She’s tough, yeah, she’s learned how to be but she’s seen some shit, and you gotta be careful with her, at least at first. Don’t go scarin’ her off,” he mock warned. Magnus was truly a softy at heart, but had to be reminded of it sometimes.

Magnus nodded solemnly. He was chewing his bottom lip and obviously wanted to say something. Merle let him suffer a little longer.

“Alright, better get it all out now, kid, what do ya wanna know?” Merle said, settling back into the couch for what was sure to be a barrage of questions. Magnus didn't say anything for a moment, and smoothed some of his duck’s feathers.

“D’you think she’ll stay?” He finally asked in a small voice. Merle focused his one eye on the boy, but Magnus refused to make eye contact. It both was and was not the question Merle had been expecting. He looked back at the TV.

“Yeah,” he said finally. “Yeah, kid, I think she will.”

———————  
Magnus wasn’t home when Lucretia arrived. He was at his best friend Carey’s house, playing basketball in her yard, because Merle didn’t want Lucretia to be too anxious when she arrived. Magnus wasn’t sure what about him would make anyone anxious, and he asked Carey as much.

There was a pause that was just a little too long for Magnus’ liking before she answered.

“I mean, you are a pretty big and loud guy, Mags,” she said, bouncing the ball between her legs. “You’re friendly, duh, but I can see how that friendliness can be a little...much, ya know? Heck, I was kinda scared of you when I first saw you! You got the look of a bully.”

Magnus frowned deeply and Carey quickly realized her mistake. She came bounding toward him from the other side of the yard, yelling “But hey, good thing you don’t use those guns for anythin’ else but SICK HUGS!” And she leapt into his arms.

He caught her, of course, and spun her around, laughing, but Magnus was stuck on the thought that someone might think he was mean just because of his size. Merle had said that Lucretia had learned to take care of herself, but Magnus knew that everyone needed a little help sometimes.

Magnus was going to be the best brother ever.

———————  
Merle wanted Magnus home for dinner, to meet Lucretia in a calmer environment. Though Magnus was still a little hyper after running around with Carey for so long, he made sure to step into the house and remove his coat and shoes as calmly as possible, before walking into the little kitchen, where Merle was just placing bowls of steaming chili on the table, and Magnus got his first look at Lucretia.

She was taller than he expected her to be, though not taller than himself, and thin. She was hunched forward, as if she were trying to make herself as small as possible, but Magnus could see that she was looking up at him through her eyelashes, probably assessing him as much as she was assessing her.

Magnus grinned his signature large, gap toothed grin and sat down across from her.

“Hi,” he said, in a quieter voice than he might have were he speaking to any other person. “I’m Magnus. It’s nice to meet you. I’m really excited for you to be here.”

And he stuck his hand out across the table.

There was a long moment of silence, bordering on awkward, where Merle froze with a spoonful of chili halfway to his mouth and Magnus waited patiently, grinning and calm and friendly.

Finally, Lucretia smiled a little and straightened up. She placed her tiny hand in Magnus’ and said in a stronger voice than he anticipated, “It’s very nice to meet you, Magnus. I’m...excited too.”

Somehow Magnus’ grin got wider, and he shook her hand firmly once before letting go and literally diving into his chili.

“Magnus, please, we’ve talked about this, use a spoon!” Merle grumbled, and Lucretia laughed.

It was probably the best sound both Merle and Magnus had ever heard, and Merle’s nerves all but dissolved.

———————  
Lucretia was enrolled at the same school as Magnus, but she was older so they were in different grades. This made Magnus nervous—what if they didn’t see each other? What if something happened while they were apart?—but they had the same lunchtime and if they weren’t eating together, Lucretia would always find him and say hi and chat for a few minutes before eating with her ever-growing group of friends from her writing and drama clubs.

Magnus was so proud of her. Merle had nothing to worry about.

———————  
And then there came the day that was forever after known in the Highchurch household as “The Incident.”

Magnus was walking to his locker from his math class because he had forgotten his book, and happened to pass by the girl’s bathroom just as someone inside sobbed. Immediately, Magnus did what he did best: he rushed in, sign be damned.

Inside he found Lucretia curled up underneath one of the sinks with her face in her hands and her shoulders shaking.

Magnus felt many different emotions well up in him as he looked at his crying foster sister. There was sadness, of course; he almost started crying with Lucretia. And there was anger, at whoever made her feel like this. Magnus was going to punch a wall if he didn’t find out who had made Lucretia feel like this soon. And, finally, anxiety. Would Lucretia want to leave, after whatever had happened to her? Had she gotten hurt? Was she no longer safe? Was she ever?

Magnus took a deep breath and pushed all of those feelings aside for right now. He had to make sure Lucretia was okay first, and then he could worry.

He walked over to her slowly and carefully, sitting next to her but giving her space. Lucretia had never been very “cuddly,” much to Magnus’ dismay. He loved hugs and right now all he wanted to do was hug his sister.

“Lucretia?” he said softly. She jumped slightly and looked up at him with a tear streaked face. Once again Magnus felt like crying. She looked so, so sad, like she was in unimaginable amounts of pain.

Lucretia’s face crumpled, and she threw her arms around Magnus’ neck, sobbing into his shoulder.

He wrapped his arms around her and let her cry. Bells rang outside and he heard people move from class to class but neither he nor Lucretia moved, and no one came inside the bathroom once they heard her crying.

Finally, Lucretia’s crying slowed, and then stopped. She sat up, sniffling, but Magnus kept a protective hand on her back. He gave her a moment to calm her breathing and blow her nose.

“So,” he finally asked, “who do I have to kill?”

To his immense relief, Lucretia laughed. She wiped her eyes one final time and then shook her head.

“I don’t think Merle would react well to you getting detention again, let alone getting detention for murdering a student,” she said with a small smile. Magnus grinned, too, relieved that Lucretia seemed to be feeling even a little bit better. He stood and then helped her up before grabbing a bunch of paper towels and running them under cold water so Lucretia could wash her face.

As he watched his sister put herself back together, Magnus couldn’t help but feel anger rising in him again. He didn’t know everything that had happened to her, but he knew Lucretia had had it rough before coming to live with him and Merle. Who would dare ever hurt someone so nice and smart and pretty? Despite what Lucretia said, Magnus was willing to risk detention if it meant that this person would never so much as think about Lucretia in a mean way ever again.

“Do you really not wanna talk about what happened?” he asked. Lucretia threw out the damp paper towels and leaned on the edge of the sink. She was quite for a minute, thinking. Then (to Magnus’ dismay) she shook her head.

“I appreciate it Magnus, I really do but…” Lucretia paused, chewed on her bottom lip, and then straightened up. “I need to take care of this myself.” She stood tall and determined, and looked brave.

Magnus was so proud of her.

———————  
An alternative title to The Incident, at least for Magnus, was The Best Day Ever, because he got a front row seat to what happened after he found Lucretia crying in the bathroom.

It was a few days later, and he and Lucretia were sitting together eating lunch. Lucretia had been sitting with him instead of at her usual table ever since he found her in the bathroom. Magnus didn’t question it, instead choosing to enjoy the extra time with his sister.

He was in the middle of telling her about this funny thing his friend (and very obvious crush) Julia Waxman had said in his English class when he was interrupted by a tray being slammed down on the opposite side of the table.

Standing there were Lydia and Edward, two students in Lucretia’s grade and the presidents of the drama club. Magnus smiled awkwardly at them. He spoke to them only briefly the few times they had come over the house to see Lucretia, and he got a very creepy vibe from them. He never really liked them, but they were Lucretia’s friends, so he dealt with them.

Only they didn’t look very friendly right now. They were sneering at Magnus and Lucretia, disgust written all over their faces. Magnus glanced at Lucretia, feeling a little nervous. She was glaring at the two, her eyes cold. Lydia opened her mouth to say something but Lucretia beat her to it.

“Can we help you two?” Lucretia snapped. Lydia’s mouth snapped shut, her teeth clicking before she bared them in a terrifying grin.

“We were just wondering when you were planning on returning to the drama club,” Lydia said, her voice dripping with artificial sweetness. Her brother grinned beside her.

“Yes, it just looks so terrible when colleges check your transcript and see you’ve given up on something,” Edward said, and his smile turned even more wicked looking. “Though I guess giving up things is just an inherent part of you, after what your parents did to you.”

Magnus saw red, but before he could do anything Lucretia was up and moving around the table toward Edward. She moved too fast though, and her foot got caught on her chair. She fell to the ground on her hands and knees, right at Lydia’s feet. The siblings cackled. Lydia leaned down over Lucretia.

“Bad luck,” she sneered.

And then Lucretia punched her.

Magnus saw red again, but this time it was just the blood streaming from Lydia’s nose. Magnus knew a broken nose when he saw one. Lydia shrieked and then lept at Lucretia, clawing and kicking. Magnus glanced up at Edward, trying to judge if he should jump in before Edward got involved, but when they made eye contact, Edward shook his head and took a step backward, his eyes wide.

The two girls were only able to fight for about a minute before two teachers rushed over and separated them, dragging them off to Principle Hawthorn’s office.

———————  
Lucretia came home that afternoon with a black eye, a scratched arm and a note informing Merle that she was suspended for two days for fighting. She told Merle the whole story, about what Edward and Lydia had said today and earlier that week, about crying in the bathroom and Magnus helping her and finally about the fight today.

Merle hugged her tightly, and with Magnus’ help treated her wounds and made her soup.The two kids ate in front of the TV, sitting close together on the couch under a blanket and laughing at some old kid’s cartoon. Merle watched them with a fond smile on his face, and realized he was caring for two of the bravest kids in the world.

He framed the suspension note.


	3. Chapter 3: Taako and Lup

After The Incident, Merle got a call from the foster system and was informed that he had to attend a meeting in order to discuss Lucretia’s future with him.

Merle got a similar call when Magnus got his first suspension for fighting, and Merle was feeling the same sense of dread and indignation.

It wasn’t his fault that Magnus was scrappy. When Merle asked him why he got in a fight in the first place, Magnus had simply looked at him and said, “I hate bullies.”

Well, that was certainly a good enough reason to start a fight for Merle, and the fight was clearly not due to a lack of care at home or whatever shit the guy John spewed at him from across a very large desk. But Magnus’ simple explanation did nothing to impress John.

“I’m sorry, Merle,” John said unapologetically, “but foster children don’t just suddenly start fights after they are taken in by foster parents unless something is seriously wrong at home.”

“You ever think that maybe the issue isn’t his home life but the asshole kids at his school who can’t go two minutes without tripping and teasing some poor nerd?” Merle grumbled, slouched in an oversized office chair. They had been going back and forth on this for a solid hour now. When they started Merle was the picture of a perfect foster parent, polite and kind, but now he was tired and frustrated. Why couldn’t John just see and understand that Magnus was better off with Merle?

John frowned at his language, and Merle sighed and stood.

“Listen, Johnny boy,” he said. “I have a kid who’s going to be home from school soon, who will be lookin’ for his after school snack and for my help with his homework. I can’t sit here and argue with you any more today about how I apparently don’t care for my kid right. I’ve had enough people tell me that over the years, and I don’t need to hear it from you. See ya, John.”

And with that, he turned and stalked out of the office.

Magnus ate the story up when Merle told him what happened while they were eating dinner, but the system wasn’t so happy. Merle wound up meeting with John again the next month, and then the month after that, until four months and four meetings had passed and John finally decided that Merle really was still fit to care for Magnus.

Merle was not ready to deal with this bullshit all over again.

———————  
He didn’t tell the kids about the meeting, scheduling it during the week when they were in school. Once again, he made sure he looked like the perfect foster dad, actually taking the time to iron his favorite Hawaiian shirt and tie his long hair up into a semi-neat bun.

John looked as reluctant to have this meeting as Merle felt. He was glad they were starting this out on the same page, at least.

John began a similar spiel as last time, how Lucretia had never started a fight before and random aggression was a sign of an unstable home life, but Merle put up a hand to stop him before he got too far.

“Random aggression?” Merle said. “What part of some punk ass kid saying my daughter was given up and her defending herself says ‘random’ aggression to you?”

“Merle, language, please,” John said through gritted teeth. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Lucretia had never acted out physically before living with you and Magnus. She probably learned it from watching him, learned that physical violence was the only way to react to certain things, and thus punched that...child.”

“That’s crazy!” Merle exclaimed, and so they went, back and forth, until the clock behind John’s head struck 2:30 PM. With a grunt, Merle got up and walked toward the door, saying, “I gotta pick up my kids” over his shoulder.

“This isn’t finished, Merle,” John said. “Lucretia may still be taken from you and moved to a better home. You may not think we’ll do it, but we can, and we will.”

Merle stopped with his hand on the doorknob and turned and faced John, a steely and cold look on his face.

“Kiss my ass, you sanctimonious bastard,” he said, and slammed the door behind him.

———————  
Once again, it took several months and several meetings before the system determined that Lucretia could stay with Merle, but it was a very close call. They basically told him that if any of his kids, present or future, got in any more trouble, he’d lose them all.

The thought struck pure fear into Merle’s heart.

He didn’t tell the kids about the meetings until they were over. He didn’t want them to be scared (or know that he was scared), but once he had confirmation that Lucretia would be staying with them, he sat them down for a family meeting, this time with bowls of ice cream instead of pizza.

Merle tried to make the whole situation sound as non-threatening as possible, but Magnus and Lucretia were smart. They saw right through his bullshit.

When he finished his explanation, they both started speaking at the same time, apologizing and promising to be good. Lucretia almost launched into a tirade directed at Magnus about how “violence wasn’t the answer” or whatever, but Merle stopped her just in time, before that escalated into any sort of fight.

“Alright, alright, shut up you two!” he said, his voice gruff and tired but not mean, and his kids quieted down immediately. “This ain’t gonna work out if we don’t work together. You two have to look out for each other when I’m not there, alright? You’re smart kids, but emotional. You gotta learn to breath and calm down and know when to walk away. Or we’re all screwed. Got it?” Lucretia and Magnus nodded, and Lucretia put a gentle hand on Magnus’ shoulder and looked down at him and smiled.

“Don’t worry, Merle,” she said, “I’ll always have Magnus’ back.” Magnus looked at her and tears started welling up in his eyes and, okay, Merle had to stop this bullshit before this got away from him and he started crying, too.

“Enough with the sappy bullshit, you’re ice cream is melting,” he said, and rose to put his own empty bowl in the sink. He washed his dishes and the ice cream scoop, listening to his kids argue about whether or not strawberry ice cream really was good or if they only liked it because it was mixed with chocolate and vanilla, and felt calmer than he had in a long time. Merle was determined to not have to meet for another parley with John ever again.

———————  
A few weeks later, that serenity all but dissipated when Merle found out about two twins who had just entered the system. Apparently, they had been travelling around with various caravans for most of their life, their aunt having died when they were pretty young, and were only found by the system’s officials when they ran into town, broken and bloody, followed closely by a group of marauders who claimed the two had stolen from them in the night and tried to escape with the treasure. The police dealt with the marauders and the system handled the twins, who tried and failed to escape from the temporary group home no less than twelve times just in the first week they got there.

John told all of this to Merle over the phone, and Merle had a sneaking suspicion that they were only telling him about these two because one, Merle couldn’t resist as good of a story as this, and two, these twins were likely to cause trouble at home or at school or both, and John was itching to prove to the system how unworthy Merle was to care for kids.

Merle was nothing if not stubborn, however, and had a “deep need to prove himself and his worth to other’s” (Avi’s words, not Merle’s), so he filled out the paperwork, met with the kids, and sat Magnus and Lucretia down for pizza and a family meeting.

Merle didn’t tell Magnus and Lucretia everything about the twins’ life, just that it was rough and they were probably going to be difficult to handle, but if they were patient with them, Merle believed that they would all get along just fine.

———————  
On the day the twins were going to arrive, Magnus couldn’t sit still. Two new siblings in one day! That had never happened before! He paced near the front door, torn between walking and fidgeting and looking out the window like a dog. Lucretia was much more patient, choosing to sit and read in the living room, but she was equally as excited and nervous.

Finally, they heard Merle’s keys jingling and they rushed to meet him and the twins.

The door opened, and there was Merle, and behind him were two of the smallest and skinniest kids Magnus had ever seen. They were holding hands, and Magnus thought they looked like feral cats, ears twitching and eyes flitting to every corner of the room, tense and ready to pounce, or run.

Magnus hoped they wouldn’t run.

Merle introduced them as Taako and Lup. Magnus grinned at them.

“I’m Magnus!” He said, and stuck out his hand for them to shake, polite, like always.

Neither of the twins took his hand, though. They stared at it, and then at him. Magnus’ grin never broke. Finally, Taako and Lup looked at each other and simultaneously grinned and pointed at their teeth before cackling.

Magnus smile faded, and he used his hand to cover his mouth. He was finally starting to feel better about the gap between his two front teeth—Julia had called it cute just two weeks ago. Lucretia put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed before introducing herself.

“There’s food in the kitchen if you’re hungry, and then I’ll show you where the bedrooms are,” she said. The twins looked at each other again, and seemed to have an entire conversation before following Lucretia.

Merle stepped close to Magnus and patted his arm.

“C’mon, big guy, it’s alright, they didn’t mean it,” he said kindly. Magnus took his hand away from his mouth and stared down at his feet.

“They have buckteeth,” he said, and Merle’s one eye narrowed.

“Hey, now, watch it,” he warned in a low voice.

Magnus’ frown deepened.

“‘M sorry,” he said, and Merle just patted his arm again before walking off toward the kitchen.

Magnus stood near the door for a while, listening to Lucretia giving a tour of the house to the twins, and Merle cleaning up the leftovers from dinner. He thought about these two newcomers, with their strange names and silent conversations and rude comments.

For the first time ever. Magnus did not like his new siblings.

———————  
Taako and Lup did not make themselves easy to like as the days went on. They both hogged the bathroom, and the remote, and the closet space. They rarely spoke, and when they did, it was only to offer sassy and borderline mean comments, usually at the expense of Merle or Magnus or one of their classmates.

Lup was often easier to handle compared to her brother, more down to earth and quick to bring others in on the joke, whether they wanted to be or not. Taako, however, only cared about himself and Lup. Where Lup wanted other people to join in on her fun and wanted their approval (or at least their attention in their disapproval), Taako didn’t necessarily need that. Or at least, he never let on that he did. He was simply rude and loud and mean. He made quite the impression at their school, but not in a good way.

During Taako’s second week, Magnus turned a corner during lunch and found Taako standing over a young boy, holding a ratty paperback novel over his head. Magnus recognized the boy as Angus McDonald. He was much younger than Magnus, but in his grade, because he was a genius. Magnus had gone to him last year for help in biology, and they’d been pretty good friends ever since.

It looked like Taako had taken one of Angus’ many Caleb Cleveland books, and was making him jump up to try and grab it back. Magnus immediately felt pure fury rise up in him. He could handle insults thrown at him, and Merle and Lucretia had done a good job of taking care of themselves, but Angus was an innocent little boy and Taako was being a bully, and before Magnus could stop himself he stalked over, grabbed the book from Taako and handed it back to Angus, and planted himself between the boy and his foster brother.

Magnus and Taako were about the same height, though with Taako’s ridiculous choices in headwear it sometimes seemed like he was taller. Right now, however, Magnus seemed to tower over Taako, staring him down and practically snarling. Taako didn’t seem to be phased. He crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes.

“Geez, Maggie, don’t you know it’s rude to interrupt people?” he said. “Me and Agnes here were just having a little chat.”

“Chat my ass,” Magnus said, “you were bullying him. Apologize.” Taako barked out a laugh.

“Taako doesn’t do apologies, my man,” he said, and turned to walk down the hallway. “Now if you’ll excuse me--”

But Taako didn’t make it more than two steps before Magnus grabbed the back of his shirt and yanked him back, growling, “Apologize. Now!”

Taako smacked his arm away and shoved Magnus right in the chest, hard. Magnus didn’t even think about what to do next, grabbing the front of Taako’s shirt and lifting him off his feet, his other hand pulled back to punch.

And then he stopped.

Because Taako was actually scared. His lower lip trembled and his eyes were huge and Magnus felt all of his anger rush out of him, replaced with guilt. He suddenly remembered what Merle had said, about John and fighting, and he gently put Taako down.

Taako recovered quickly. He fixed his shirt and adjusted his hat and when he looked back up at Magnus, he had schooled his features back into his signature neutral, slightly bored expression.

“Well, that was fun, Maggie,” he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “But next time I’m trying to make a new friend, maybe stay the hell out of it. I’ll see you at home.” And with a dismissive flip of his hair, Taako stalked down that hall.

Magnus immediately turned toward Angus, but at some point during the argument, he had run off, which probably meant he wasn’t physically hurt at all, but Magnus would be sure to check on him in their chemistry class later that afternoon.

———————  
Neither Magnus nor Taako were called to Principal Hawthorne’s office at any point that day, but Magnus was still nervous that someone had seen their almost fight and they would have to leave Merle. When he got home, he found Merle out back, tending to his huge garden, and explained what had happened that afternoon.

Merle wasn’t mad, thankfully. He put down his pruning shears and dusted off his knees as he stood.

“I’m proud of you, kid,” he said finally. Magnus was surprised. That was the last thing that he expected Merle to say, but it was not unwelcome. Merle continued, in as calm a voice as ever, “I know Taako and Lup are annoying and mean. They’ve had a rough life and this is how they’re choosing to deal with it all, by taking it out on others.” He turned and looked Magnus right in the eye, looking more serious than Magnus had ever seen him.

“But one day,” Merle said, “one day it’s gonna bite ‘em in the ass. Probably Taako’s, first. And I’m countin’ on you to be there to help ‘em out, because that’s what we do, right?” Magnus nodded solemnly. Even though Taako acted like he didn’t want to be Magnus’ brother, and Magnus wasn’t entirely sure he wanted it either, they were still family, and if Magnus had learned anything from living with Merle, it was how to look after family.

Merle smiled and tweaked Magnus’ nose, making him laugh, and then packed up his gardening supplies, and the two went inside.

———————  
Merle was proven correct not one week later.

Magnus was walking through the empty halls at lunch, and, similar to their last encounter, he rounded a corner and found Taako in an almost empty hallway. Except this time, instead of seeing Taako looming over someone smaller than him, Taako was the one being loomed over. Standing around him in a menacing semi-circle were the Hammerheads, a group of three punks who were two years older than Magnus, and two thirds of them were almost twice his size.

For once, Magnus hesitated. There were few people Magnus was not willing to fight, and he knew from past experience that if he fought the Hammerheads all at once, he would lose.

And then the largest Hammerhead, Marvey, spoke.

“We’re real sick of your smart mouth, kid,” he said around the toothpick in his mouth. Taako rolled his eyes.

“I’m not a kid,” he said. “I’m Taako. Y’know, from TV?” The second Hammerhead, Jerry, slammed his palm against the lockers close to Taako’s head, and Taako flinched.

“Y’see, it’s when you says shit like that,” Jerry growled, bending down so his face was level with Taako’s, “that makes us real angry.”

“Yeah! Real angry!” Little Jerry piped up. True to his name, Little Jerry was no taller than four foot five, but his association with Jerry and Marvey and his tendency to bite ankles during fights made him just as frightening as the other, larger Hammerheads.

Magnus hesitated, trying to think this through, but none of the solutions were really all that great. If he didn’t do anything, he would no doubt see Taako get beat up, and the Hammerheads would get away with no consequences, and Taako may still get in trouble and they’d all have to leave Merle. If he rushed in and tried to help Taako, he’d get hurt, the Hammerheads would still walk away scot-free, and both he and Taako would get in trouble and they’d all have to leave Merle.

As he was pondering this, Taako must have made another comment because Magnus suddenly heard a gasp and looked up just in time to see Marvey lifting Taako by his shirt, his fist pulled back to strike. Magnus was hit by a sudden wave of deja vu, and made his decision. Damn what John threatened; Taako was his brother, as far as Magnus was concerned, and Marvey was being a bully, and Magnus hated bullies.

So, before Marvey could bring his fist any closer to Taako’s face, Magnus rushed in. He pushed past Jerry and Little Jerry and grabbed Marvey arm, turning him around so that they were facing each other. Marvey let Taako go in his surprise, and Taako immediately scurried around to hide behind Magnus.

As all three of the Hammerheads moved to strike, Magnus held up his hands in surrender.

“I don’t want to fight you all, and neither does Taako,” he said slowly and evenly. “You can hit us all you want,” (at that Taako grabbed his arm and dug his nails in) “but we won’t hit back. And what’ll that prove, huh?” Magnus looked each Hammerhead in the eyes in turn. “That you can hit targets standing still? Very impressive,” he said sarcastically, and crossed his arms and waited to see what the Hammerheads would do.

The three bullies glanced at each other, apparently thinking through what Magnus had said. Finally, they took the bait.

“Eh, yous ain’t worth fighting,” Jerry said.

“Yeah, too easy! Not worth it!” Little Jerry agreed, and the three stalked off down the hall.

Magnus let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, and turned around to check on Taako—who had disappeared. Magnus looked up and down the hall, but he couldn’t find his foster brother. He sighed and went to his next class.

He hoped Taako was alright.

———————  
That evening, Magnus was tucked in bed well after everyone else. He had stayed up late studying for a math test, and he was ready to shut his brain off and sleep.

Just as he was drifting off, he heard his door open and someone or something sat down next to him. Magnus froze for a moment, his tired brain and terrible night vision unable to figure out who or what was next to him. Before he could say anything, however, the shadow spoke.

“Hey, Mags.” It was Taako. “You up?”

Magnus shifted and sat up. Taako took that as a good enough answer and continued speaking, staying seated on the edge of Magnus’ bed and staring at the wall.

“I wanted to, uh, thank you, for earlier today,” he said. “You know, usually Taako can handle himself, but, uh—“

“Everyone needs help sometimes,” Magnus said quietly. Taako paused and then nodded slightly.

“Lup is the only one who’s ever helped me before,” Taako said, his voice low and softer than Magnus had ever heard it. “Didn’t think anyone else would ever care as much as she does.” Magnus was quiet for a second, his brow furrowed.

“You’re my brother now, too, Taako,” he said finally. “Of course I care. We all do.” And he pulled Taako into a hug.

If Magnus felt any tears on his chest where Taako’s face was pressed against him, he would never say.

———————  
Magnus expected their relationship to drastically change after that night, but it didn’t. He shouldn’t have been surprised, Taako said he had an “image to uphold, homie” when Magnus questioned him. But Magnus would argue that Taako was a little nicer to his family, less mean and more sassy and sarcastic. He started eating lunch with Magnus, and Lup would join them sometimes. Taako initiated family game nights every Friday, much to Merle’s chagrin, and painted Magnus’ nails.

It wasn’t perfect, but it was the best he could do, and they were happy.

**Author's Note:**

> @fully-realized-creation on tumblr. Come chat and ask questions! And check out my other fics!


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